While writing my self-help memoir, “Playing for Keeps – How a 21st century businesswoman beat the boys,” there was a lot of reflection about how synchronicity plays a role in our lives. It is a theme throughout my book and life that has deep meaning for all of us.
Swiss Psychologist Carl Jung first defined “synchronicity as an “acausal connecting (togetherness) principle,” “meaningful coincidence”, “acausal parallelism” or “meaningful coincidence of two or more events where something other than the probability of chance is involved”(Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle, Princeton University Press, 2012, p. 44.)
In 1992, my family crossed paths with Wayne Dyer, on a plane on the way home from Maui. I would come to find out later that my dad wrote Dr. Dyer’s name and his book’s name “THERE’S A SPIRITUAL SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM” on his calendar four months earlier.
Dr, Wayne Dyer is one of our most admired self-help authors. He studied Carl Jung’s work. In my book, I share how Dyer sold 100 million self-help books in his lifetime about how to manifest dreams through the power of synchronicity. His definition of synchronicity is based on Jung’s teachings.
Wayne Dyer says: “Synchronicity is a state in which you almost feel as if you are in a collaborative arrangement with the universe (Synchronicity is a collaboration with fate).” He would go on to say that “there are no accidents, there are no coincidences, there is only synchronicity.
When I first started writing the stories about my dad and my heritage back in 2015 that are now in my book, I was singularly focused on them, not me. My dad wanted me to tell the Allison family story, and so that’s what I did.
The first story that I wrote was called “Rhapsody in Blue.” The second was “Breath of Life.” I had figured out why everything was connected…and it felt like synchronicity.
My daughter Jamie picked the song “Breath of Life” for her skating tryout song in August 2014 when she was taking care of my dad. A year later Jamie’s Miami University Synchronized Skating team picked “Breath of Life” for their short program music.
Around the same time, I watched the “Snow White and the Huntsman” movie, and felt a connection. I connected that it came up twice, so I watched the movie again on my dad’s birthday in 2015. Suddenly, the lightbulb went on. My grandmother’s last name was Snow. Jamie looked like Snow White in her synchronized skating performance. It was my dad’s birthday, my grandmother gave him his first breath of life on that day…she took her last breath of life…
Putting together all of these clues, I realized that the theme song “Breath of Life” in “Snow White and the Huntsman” was about the story of my father and grandmother. It was tragic, and had never been told.
Around that time, Jamie’s skating team at Miami University announced that they were going to have their season debut in Anaheim, California. The significance of this location was that it was the first time in the history of the program that the season opener was not in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
The Anaheim rink was where our family (including my dad) watched Jamie compete in figure skating and my son Michael clinch the Crosstown Cup against USC while playing ice hockey for UCLA. It was the place that my family gathered while Michael and Jamie were growing up. It was a place near and dear to my dad’s heart. It was the place where the “Breath of Life” performance, which would go on to be my dad and grandmother’s untold story in the book, would be unveiled to the world. Here is Miami University/Team USA skating to “Breath of Life” in Milan, Italy in 2016:
And I kept thinking about Wayne Dyer’s mantra, “There are no accident’s, there are no coincidences, there is only synchronicity.”
SYNCHRONICITY POWER LESSONS
While my 16 Pearls of Wisdom in the “Playing for Keeps” book are a “cheat sheet” for being successful in business and life, here are the lessons learned from “Synchronicity Power” on making your dreams come true that may help you succeed:
1. Figure out your dream goal – And when you achieve this milestone, ask how are you going to help others. Your life shouldn’t be just about you.
2. Don’t listen to naysayers – Honestly, I set my personal and business goals, and keep them to myself so that there aren’t any naysayers. I learned to do this a long time ago. Others may want to post goals on a vision board for the world to see. For me, it’s just easier to keep my goals private.
3. Get rid of negativity – I constantly have to work on this one. My negativity generally has to do with when I see parents sending the wrong message to their children. I ask for help constantly on this one. Looking back, I noticed in my dad’s art calendars that he also struggled with trying to get rid of negativity.
4. BE KIND to everyone – Remember, all of this is not about you. It’s really about others. According to Wayne Dyer, any person who receives an act of kindness has their serotonin levels increase, which creates a sense of happiness and strengthens immune systems. And the good news is that the “giver” of the act of kindness receives the same benefits. Dyer says, “You want to strengthen your immune system, be kind.”
5. Don’t be tied to a timeline – When you practice “infinite patience”’ it will happen when it happens. Throughout these steps, always believe or as my dad would say: “DO Act as if it Has Already Been Granted.”
6. Be open to the clues when they come because then you will know that you are on the right track. Think of it as getting a wink or a nod of confirmation. In the “Make it Happen” chapter of my self-help memoir, one of my dad’s art calendars says “Connect the Dots” and “He gives you clues, but not the answer just yet.”
7. Always, always be grateful – I thank God and my dad every day, as he has taught me so much. Be in a state of gratitude and abundance, and you will naturally attract ideal relationships into your life. See yourself as receiving more, and be willing to give it away.
NEW BOOK COVER
When I originally launched “Playing for Keeps,” my book cover designer wanted me to be on the front. I didn’t like that idea because I really thought that the majority of the book was about my family heritage with prominent leaders and being related to Winston Churchill. As time progressed, the book’s message transitioned to being more about my career success journey, and how my encouraging messages can help others.
In the last month, I have been focused on changing my book cover to reflect this new direction of my story. With new insights, I realized that it was time for my photograph to go on the cover.
Two people knew about the redesign, my publicist and cover designer. Parallel to this was the release of an important book review by Artisan Book Reviews. They launched a marketing campaign while this update was being finalized. I thought, oops, I forgot to tell them about the new cover. I thought they were going to be “put out” by me dropping this change on them.
Here is our correspondence:
April 18, 2021, 5:18pm
Hi Ella – After much discussion with my publicist, we are changing the cover of the book to clearly show that it is the memoir of a businesswoman. We are launching later this week. Attached is the cover. I hope this does not pose a big problem.
April 20, 2021, 6:10pm
This is amazing because our reviewer who read your book told us that your book cover was not appropriate for your book. She sent me some amazing pictures of book covers of books written in your genre that had the author’s picture on the cover. She said that you are a beautiful woman and should have your picture on your cover. I didn’t discuss all of this with you, did I? I am fairly sure I didn’t mention your book cover to you.
She wanted me to tell you all of this, but I was afraid you would get offended. Many of our authors get so offended when we give them constructive criticism. So, this is great!!! Your new cover is incredible. I love the pale-yellow background. It is cheerful and you look amazing. This is really going to help your book sales.
We still have some promotions to do for your book, so we will use your new book cover and website. Your book will now score higher for our contest. You got high scores for your book, but your score for your book cover brought your total points down and I was bummed about that.
When do you want us to change your cover on your post on our website?
Please let me know and I am really excited for you.
April 20, 2021, 7:27pm
Ok, I just got the chills reading your reply. No, you didn’t mention that to me. Tell your reviewer that her review felt spot on to me and that her thoughts of a different cover, and my timing on changing the cover are the perfect example of “Synchronicity.” As said in the book by Wayne Dyer, “There are no accidents, there are no coincidences, there is only synchronicity.”
And on page 251of my book Playing for Keeps, you will find “Synchronicity is a state in which you almost feel as if you are in a collaborative arrangement with the universe (Synchronicity is a collaboration with fate)…Wayne Dyer…he sold 100 million books in his lifetime on manifesting dreams and the power of synchronicity.”
I will send you a copy of the final back cover tomorrow. Your reviewer is going to love it as I used part of her review on the back!
Please use the new cover now.
Thank you so much,
April 22, 2021, 6:24pm
I think you are right. Everything’s falling into place perfectly. I am going to share your cover and back cover with Tracy our reviewer.
We changed your book cover on our post and on our sidebar. We added your website link to our post as well. Here is the link.
Your new cover looks spectacular!!!
And so, my author, business cheerleader and mom journey continues. Now I know that I am on the right track with my book and subsequent goals because it was all synchronicity.
“When you recognize that your success is not all about “you,” the world will fall in sync to meet you”. – Therese Allison